Monday, January 29, 2018

To my very own Hermoine Granger

To my dearest, very own Hermoine Granger,

As I watch you reading book seven of the Harry Potter Series, I feel that now is the best time to share with you the hardest lesson I have had to learn as a parent. When I had you, the strongest instinct I felt was the desire to protect you from sadness and harm. However, as you have grown, I have realized this is a futile exercise. There are few things that I can assure you in life, but one thing I can assure you is that someday you will experience sorrow, sadness, and pain. I cannot protect you from that. I thought I could. These things sit off in the distance along the horizon and will come as sure as the sun setting each day.

You know how Dumbledore tried so hard to protect Harry from the dark? Was he able to protect Harry? No. But, Dumbledore knew that there is always light to found in the darkness. You just have look. You can't prevent the pain, but you can make yourself strong enough to beat the pain. Maybe that is what my job is as a parent? To help you become strong enough to handle the pain the world throws at you.

I know it can be hard to find the light, especially when there are mean words being said. You feel alone and hurt. This I know. But know this, throughout your life you will find diamonds in the rough. These are friends that are true. These are friends that stand by you no matter what and bring joy to your soul in the darkest of time. They know how to find the silver lining of any situation, no matter how horrific. That is why I run with Team in Training. My teammates are joy-makers. They take the horrific loss of having a family member with cancer and turn it into a cause to find a cure. And when you find a joy-maker, hold onto that friendship with all your heart and soul. That is why I spend so much time talking with my friends that I made in college and grad school. It may have been well over ten years since we were near each other, but our souls are intrinsically connected. They bring joy to my heart and help me through those tough days that wear me down.

But, don't worry if you don't know who your joy-makers are yet in your life. It took a long time for me to figure out how to fill my life with people who help me see the silver linings in every situation.  When you find them, never let them go.

And the best way to do that is to become a joy-maker yourself. Be you. Be beautiful, intelligent, witty you. Be unashamed of the light you are bringing into the world. Give you love. Give it liberally and without reservation. This will make you a joy-maker. It also might make you have your heart broken a couple of times along the way- by friends, by loves, by people who come and go out of your life. However, the love you put into this world, you may think it might be lost during times of darkness, but it always comes back to you. Like a theory of relativity, the love put into the universe will come back to you in greater proportions.

So my dearest very-own Hermoine Granger- let yourself feel this pain. I know you are hurting. And it is OK. Feel it. Embrace it. Let it run through your body. Then, when you are ready let it go. Just like the theory of love, my theory of pain is that pain felt and dealt with can be released to make room for more love.

And if you ever need to know where to find love, please, come talk to me. I will give you all the love you need to get by, to get through, and to thrive in this world.


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